Time and Tide: SHADOWS

Time and Tide: SHADOWS: * READERS DISCRETION ADVISED—TOPIC: Aging   Sorry about the mistakes in the first few lines.                                                             CONTENT: All kinds of yucky st...

THE ANGLER. A tale of the one that got away.

There once was an angler,

as he set out to sea.

he said to himself,

"There's none better than me!",

"I can catch any fish to my taste and desire,

toss it into a  pot, cook it up on a fire!"

"Through fools pride he is blinded!" One little fish thought,

as she flowed through the water, slowly rising to the top.

As she huddled in the shadows so as not to be seen,

"Let him cast out his bait for he'll never catch me!"

So he cast out his line, hook, sinker and all.

From behind the dark shadows she watched it fall.

Now the angler he cheated just a little, you see,

by checking his fish finder saying,

"It never fails me!"

With the little fish hidden among the dark shadows,

she watched as the line drop farther and farther.

"It's too much line!" the fish sadly thought.

"He's sure to be sorry for the fish that he's caught!"

For the little fish knew all the secrets of the deep

and she knew from the angler these secrets she'd keep.

Then the little fish thought,"There's no end to the line,

oh the line he's released!"

Then, the line stopped quick ... and the fish finder beeped!!!

Twas the loudest of beeps the angler did hear!

Something grabbed at his heart. The grasp was fear!!!

His heart how it pounded, keeping time with the beeper.

 Holding tight to the rod he pulled up on the lever.

The sweat broke from his brow,

his feet straddled the boat.

Then he yanked the wrong way and his brace became broke!

Rod, reel and man now bobbing afloat.

As the little fish searched, looking for the man,

sadly she found him with rod still in hand.

With a tremor in her fins and a quiver in her tail, sadly she thought,

"Tis through greed that he fails.",

"To have all is not enough, he forever falls for life's little bluffs!"

So with a turn of her head and a flip of her tail,

she cut up through the water to continue her sail,
 of riding the waves and racing the tides.

She turned one last time to say goodbye. 

 Well it's that time of year again when a lot of folks will be rummaging deep into the hall closets, garages and basements in search of their fishing gear. The opening of fishing season for lakes, brooks and streams is, in my opinion, the true beginning of spring.

 Childhood memories of fishing with my father and uncles still ring clear for me. Memories of slowly picking our way down a brook over slippery moss covered rocks, while trying to not lose my pole or get tangled up in shrubs and trees while trying to look as capable as any 10 year old possibly can. If I faltered or slipped my Dad would be the first to laugh asking me what my problem was. My father was a good natured person which was one trait I inherited from him so his jokes and jabs rolled off my back like water on a duck. To be any other way would of grounded me back at camp being seen as a hindrance and problem. So if I hurt myself on those wet rocks I always bit back the sting of tears over bruised knees and scraped hands. Sometimes it would be too much for me and I'd very gingerly enter the ice cold water and creep my way to my favorite boulder that sat in the center of the fast moving brook. I would drop my line in the water and wait for my father on his return trip.

 I loved that spot. I loved the warmth of the rock, hot from the sun and the dappled sunlight that sparkled on the water through the large overhanging tree and the sounds of the water as it trickled and cascaded between the rocks.  On the days when the bugs were tolerable with only the cicadas buzzing beneath the heat of the sun and the crickets singing in the shade of the tall grass, well, it was almost a given to fall asleep on that rock while laying on my tummy with my chin resting on my folded arms. I can remember a small pool of water collected between a ridge of rocks and the banks of the brook beneath the shade of the overhanging tree. I remembered that when I looked down into pool, between the reflections of the branches and leaves,  I could see the blue sky and slow moving white puffy clouds reflecting back into the pool. A perfect moment caught in a perfect memory. 

 I'd like to say that I think that fishing is an underrated pastime. Unlike pastimes like golf there is no aim for getting anything into any holes on the first shot. I've seen people I know where their whole week was ruined by a bad game of golf ... you know who you are!   

There is no such thing as a bad fishing day. Unless your next meal depends on catching fish then, not catching any fish is irrelevant. It's the experience of the fishing that counts. You won't ever see anyone fishing that is looking angry or enraged. Can't say the same about a golf course. Angry golfers are 'par for the course'.  With fishing, many times I've heard people say, " We didn't catch anything other than a few mosquito bites but, it sure was a great time."

When my boys were quite young there was a time when after our evening meals I'd pile them into the station wagon and take them to Rockwood Park to go fishing.

Rockwood Park is a 870 hectare or 2200 acre urban park located in the middle of the city of Saint John NB about 5 minutes from the city's uptown area. It holds over 10 fresh water lakes, horseback riding, bicycle trails, foot paths and so much more. Oh, and yes, it has a golf course. On any given spring or summer evening you can find many folk casting their lines into Lily Lake, located just inside the entrance to Rockwood Park. It's just a really great way to end the day. My boys loved it! When we'd return home they were fast asleep before we pulled into our driveway. Nothing like fresh air to relax a child and help them sleep better! 

 Reliving these memories urges me to go fishing although it's been about 5 years or so since I've done any.  Thoughts of casting my line high into the air, to hear the whizzing sound of the line and the satisfying plunk of the hook and sinker breaking the mirrored surface of a still lake and to watch as the soft ripples spreading out into perfect circles are inviting thoughts to me. Or maybe, cop-a-squat on a soft, green riverbed and let the force of the currents pull my bobber to and fro. Or maybe, better yet ... to be able to climb on top of a sun warmed boulder in the middle of a fast moving brook.  To be mesmerized by the dappled sunshine sparkling on the water, and lulled to sleep by the sound of the cicadas buzzing under the heat of the late day sun and the crickets softly chirping in the shade of the cool tall grass.

 These memories stir a yearning that rises up from deep within me. Memories of long ago summer days of a girl and her Dad, deep in the forest, picking their way along a brook, moving downstream, over wet mossy rocks looking for the perfect spot to drop our lines and sit in the warmth of the late day sun. It was always good.

 As I wrap up this writing my eyes keep getting drawn to glance through my windows out into the cove, on to Crowe Island and beyond to the Bay of Fundy. I've never fished her waters. I've never wanted to. It's unknown territory to me. It's one of those things where it's OK to leave some mystery, to never really know all the secrets of the deep ... and that's OK by me.

And to you dear reader - "Keep yer line in da wadder!"

Until the next high tide .......

Natalie

AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM

And A Child Shall Lead Them

The softness of a baby’s cheek,

the sweetness of its breath,

are memories that we hold dear

and press upon our breast.

The children - let them cry no more,

but lead them to that open door -

that love shines through in wait for them

as angels they’ll forever spend.

Their purpose there will fill our souls

with love so pure that’s yet untold.

To turn and look upon love’s face,

to touch the world with amazing grace.

They’ll ask  forgiveness for the world,

for  humanity’s hearts to become unfurled ,

from hate, greed and pain -  replaced

with love … and not in vain.

The softness of a baby’s cheek,

the sweetness of its breath,

are memories that we hold dear

and press upon our breast.

“And a child shall lead them.”

God bless the children.

Written by:
Natalie Tapley, December 15th, 2012.

In Memory Of  The Children of Newtown Connecticut U.S.A.

December 14th, 2012 

Upon hearing the news of 27 souls being massacred at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut U.S.A., my first reaction was one of numbness. It took a good hour before the reality hit me and the numbness slowly slipped away and was replaced with an awakening of dread. Dread ...  the darkness of it. The weight of it. It seems to reach inside you and goes straight for the heart. One can physically feel it's grip grow tighter.  The pressure builds until it begins to leak into the stomach and slowly sinks and settles itself there.  For me I am still in that place.  Though now I feel dread's best friend, Pain.

I am a Mother.  I gave birth to, and raised three sons. All three births as unique as the people that they are.  I remember everything about each birth and from the first moment I met them. I remember the softness of their baby pink skin. The warmth of their little bodies against mine.  I remember how vulnerable they looked and felt the passion of protection come over me like a resolve I'd never felt before. Yes, without question I would give my life to protect theirs. Without question ... I would die for them. 

I know that I am not alone and other Mothers and Fathers feel the same.  So how do they live with the reality that their child is gone and there was nothing they could do to change that. They were never coming back, and never is a long time.  The worst realization of living with the fact that you didn't save them.  How will they go on without their babies. To say that my heart aches for these parents and their families is an understatement.  We can only hope and pray that they will somehow find the strength to carry on. I look at my own children - I raised them under the Golden Rule, treat others as you wish to be treated, it's the most important quality to have and will protect and carry you far in life. Without sounding arrogant I do believe that I raised 3 very caring individuals. 

With the Christmas Season now well upon us and celebrations growing near I hope that all will remember these families in their thoughts and prayers. For them Christmas will never be the same, nor ours.  These happenings affect us all whether we want them to or not.  This kind of shock and pain travels far and wide, around the world and touches all who are aware.
I'm thinking that Love can do the same, travel around the world, and touch others along the way ... Love begets love.


To you, dear reader, may the love and joy of the season be with you. Hold your loved ones close, hold them tight.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Until the next high tide ...

Natalie ...........................

FIRST GLANCE

On this day, January 03, 1998.  One of the most important people in my life died in a tragic accident. During a moment of levity, this person fell over 200 meters from a bridge to his death. He was 48 years old. 

We met in July 1983.  Neither of us knew it at the time what a profound affect we were to have in each other's lives - that in itself is another story for another time.  

Have you ever seen paintings that were inspired by someone the artist knew?  Usually in abstract form.  The inspiration comes out in a way that only the artist himself can really understand it. Yet somehow, even though the rest of us don't understand it we still seem to see the beauty that was intended.  It's how the following poem was formed.  He inspired me to write it...one year before he died. 

I'd like to add that 3 hours after his death we were hit with the great ice storm of 1998 .  It had shut down the whole east coast of Canada.  The storm had covered everything in it's path under a layer of thick heavy ice.  It was as though time had stopped - as if life had stopped and Mother Nature herself had fallen into mourning.  Either sides of all the highways are lined with hundreds of miles of forrest and as far as the eye could see the top of every single tree and every single branch stood bent over, their tops touching the gound, as though they were bowing, weighed down under the weight of the ice.  Nature literally frozen in time.   It all seemed strangely fitting somehow.

One thing it didn't stop was his funeral, nor the 1000+ people that showed up to say good-bye.  Some as far away as the other side of the country.  They risked their lives travelling over icy road conditions and downed power lines and trees.  At the church there was standing room only and the hall was full as well.  They even piped the sound of the service outside the building so the people that couldn't be fit inside could stand outside and hear it.  The crowd of over another 100+ people of all ages stood out in the cold, surrounded by a world of ice, to spend one last moment with this man they all loved.

I was asked to sing at his service.  I did as it was the last earthly thing that I could do for him.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life.  

He was an exceptional human being - and I don't say that lightly.  Anyone lucky enough to have known him was blessed.  Somehow we all knew that.   Our lives have never been the same since - and never will be. 

For you Tiny - Forever Loved,  Forever Missed.

FIRST GLANCE

Your eyes met mine at first we met
Your hand upon my back.

 

Your skin had roughened to the sun
its kiss upon your breath.

The sea had spun its way with you
the waves ride in your eyes.

The blue fills up the swell of you
a friend along your side.

The shock that's graced upon your head
your strength it anchors naught.

For men who've stood before ye
no greater battle fought.

Your speak dives deep to part the sea
No haven on the brine.

Lo stand do I and breathe before ye
At first your eyes met mine. 

Until the next high tide............

Natalie

THE GOOD DEED

  I was a single parent of three young boys aged 5,6 and 9 when one Christmas a 'good deed' came back as a Christmas present.

  It was about two weeks before Christmas when I had some banking to do. It was that time of the month to pay the bills. Christmas was not going to be a great one far as presents for the boys went, money was tight. We'd be doing well to have a Christmas turkey dinner.

  So I did my errand to the bank and came home with my cash and sat down at my kitchen table and divided up the money with the corresponding bill statements.  Now usually when the pile of money dwindled and the last few $20's were laid on top of the last bill statement, the cash pile would become an empty space on the table. On this day there was a $100 dollar bill remaining. I immediately felt a stir of frustration, let out a big sigh, gathered all the little piles of money back up again and started over. I did this 3 times. There was no mistaking it - I had too much money.  It took only about 3 seconds to realize the bank teller had made a mistake.

  I sat and thought about what to do. Yes - I sat and debated if I should return the money. I got up and made myself a cup of coffee. I stood there looking down at the money as I sipped my coffee. The $100 bill stared back up at me. We were poor and an extra $100 would go far at Christmas. I thought of how that money could buy my little boys new boots for the winter, they needed them. I thought about how they desperately needed new socks, underwear and pajamas. I was fighting with myself about doing the right thing. That evening I called my friends and family(who are all honest people) and asked them what they would do given that they were in my situation. One threw out the idea that maybe this was God's way of helping me out, a Christmas miracle of sorts. Every single one of them said they'd keep the money.

  I thought about all the reasons of why I should keep it, and believe me when I say - I had a lot of reasons. My boys needed so much. Extra food to get through the month. Extra money paid on the bills of which I was always behind on. So many valid reasons to not return it.

  I thought about the bank teller who would have to answer for the missing money. I imagined she would have to take the heat, what it could mean for her job. She was an older woman of about 60 years of age and I was very sure she was possibly very close to retiring. The fact that the bank's books would come up short $100 did not bother me. But thinking of the teller did.

  The very next morning I bundled my boys up warm in their winter gear and off we went for a walk to the bank. We went straight to the reception area and asked the young girl behind the desk if we could speak with the manager. She complied and the manager appeared smiling and asked us to follow her as she led us to her office. Once inside I explained what had happened. I held out the $100 bill and for a moment she just stood there looking at it before she reached out and took it. Her eyes filled with tears and she said, "I wouldn't believe it if I'd not seen it for myself. I don't know of many people that would be this honest." she said. I replied, "Well this is a lesson for my boys as well. I wanted to show them to always be honest no matter what." I never mentioned how dishonesty never set well with me and I'm easily guilted about the smallest things sometimes. Sure the bank would of never known...but I would.  

  She then turned, walked across the office to a closet door, opened it, reached inside and brought out 3 very nice suede and wool baseball caps. They were very handsome hats. I thanked her and she then led us out to the teller that made the mistake.

  When we walked up to the counter the woman had her head bent involved in her work. She hadn't heard us approach the counter.  When she lifted her head the five of us were standing there grinning at her. When the manager told the teller they had found the missing $100 her look of confusion slowly changed to one of visible relief. Her jaw dropped and her mouth hung open. She raised one hand and covered her mouth.  She became very emotional, looked at me and said thank you 3 times. I knew right then in that moment that I had done the right thing. I told her not to be so thankful and said, "I had thought twice about returning it and I feel guilty about that." The bank manager spoke up and said, "It's not what you thought about that matters, it's what you did that counts."

  On the walk back home I explained to the boys that those three hats were worth almost as much as $100 and this proved that it pays to be honest. And I thought that was the end of it, until Christmas Eve.

  Christmas Eve, 8:30pm the doorbell rings. I open the door and standing there is one of the tellers from the bank. She smiles and says Merry Christmas and hands me three large gift bags. I was dumbfounded!
I could feel a lump forming in my throat. She then said,"We always sponsor families at Christmas and this year we did 3 families. We had spent all the money already and thought we were finished, but then we met you and your boys and were told of what you did and we wanted to say thank you. We'd hoped you wouldn't be offended so we did another collection of money and went shopping for the boys." Well now at this point I'm sure the tears were running down my face.

  I invited her in and we chatted for a bit and after she left, I peeked inside the large gift bags and each one had a set of pajamas, 3 pairs of socks, new packages of underwear, bags of candy, toy cars, mittens, hats and a bunch of other stuff I can't even remember.

  I placed the bags under the Christmas tree. I sat back on the chesterfield and noticed how those bags filled up the otherwise bare spots on the floor under the tree.  It made me smile.

  Later that evening I sat curled up on the chesterfield with my feet tucked under me sipping a warm cup of tea and just enjoyed the quiet of Christmas Eve, the boys were long asleep in their beds. Christmas lights twinkled from the windows and the Christmas tree. From where I sat I could also see out through the windows and smiled to myself as I took in the scene. It was snowing.  Big, fat, slow falling snowflakes. Through the snowflakes could be seen the neighbours homes all lit up with colorful lights. Beyond them, the lights of the city and further still, one little lone light caught my eye -  the Partridge Island Lighthouse that sat in the Bay of Fundy which has been guiding ships safely to harbour since the year 1791. Ships and fishing vessels put faith in her to always be there to greet them and light the way home.  She is constant. Always there. Like the Bay of Fundy -  always surrounding her, be it through the soft lapping of a slow incoming tide against the shoreline of the little island she sits upon. Or sometimes crashing high and loud against the breakwater that connects her to us.

  We all are in search of a beacon of light in our lives that will lead us in the right direction, beckoning us home where all is good and right, wherever that may be.  Truth and goodness in the world will always prevail.  Even in our darkest moments, when we feel we've given up, some small part of us, deep down inside searches for that light and sometimes we have to look through the windows in our lives, past the snowfall, past the homes and past all the lights of the city to find our one lone little light.  Look inside yourself and once you find it, follow the path the beacon has lit before you.  You'll never be lost in the dark again.

  May the Joy, Peace and Love of the Christmas season be with you dear reader. May the brilliance of a thousand beacons light up the paths that lay before you in the New Year ahead.

Until the next high tide

Natalie........................

SCOTTIE THE CHRISTMAS TREE

My name is Scottie

and I'll need my pottie

to help me while I grow.

A little of water

and a lot of sun

will keep my healthy glow.

A few kinds words

just once a day

will keep me from the blues.

And in return

my growth will show

the love I had from you.

When spring arrives

with fresh rebirths

and newness all around.

That's when you'll pack me the truck

we'll be New River bound-

and there you'll gently take my pot

and plant me in the ground.

From there I'll grow

for years to come

a great majestic pine.

I'll feed the air

and home the squirrels

and you'll visit from time to time.

When the years have passed

and you are gone,

I'll never feel alone.

The music from your

grand-kids laughter

will make me feel at home.

My boughs will reach out for them

to wrap them in your love,

and tell them of the story

of their grand-mum up above.

They'll join their hands together

and dance their spirits free.

They'll sing the songs

of love and hope

         around Scottie the Christmas Tree.

A poem written many years ago for a dear friend at Christmas time. It was a paupers Christmas for me that year and I had wanted to give something special to my friend. So I seen this cute little potted pine tree with tiny decorations on it for sale. I purchased it but I felt that nice as it was, it was missing that special something. So I wrote this poem in scroll form, rolled it up and tied it with a red satin ribbon.

May the spirit of the Christmas Season bring you love, hope, peace and joy.

Until the next high tide

Natalie.....................

JESUS AND SANTA, BROTHERS IN ARMS

A lone thin outline of a man sat upon a rock under a black velvet sky. He cast an even thinner shadow against  the flickering light of the campfire that burned before him. He wore a brown, cotton, loose fitting robe and old leathered sandals on his bare feet. His long hair hung loosely as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and his hands cupped a golden goblet of red wine. His mind had drifted deep into thought when suddenly a soft breeze lifted his hair and flames suddenly danced in the campfire. He felt him before he saw him. Without lifting his head he said, "Welcome my friend, glad you could make it". He then raised his eyes from his goblet and looked directly over the fire across from him and smiled. A deep voice spoke from the dark shadows,"Happy to be here JC! I wouldn't miss this night for all the candy canes at the North Pole!" JC's friend Nick walked out from the darkness and stepped into the light of the campfire.  JC smiled and said, " Cop-a-squat Nick, take a load off and join me old friend." "Think I will while I can! It's going to be a long night for sure." said Nick and then lowered himself onto a birch log and shifted his backside until he found just the right spot.

  Nick's hands started patting his pockets then stopped and reached into one and pulled up his trusty black pipe. From nowhere appeared a match stick. Nick held the match stick up, eyed it, blew onto the match and it caught fire. While touching the flame to the pipe's bowl he hauled long and hard and with every puff the bowl would cast a warm red glow. Nick took several quick puffs sending little clouds of smoke up into the air then blew out the match and tossed it into the fire. His eyes shifted to JC who was again looking down into his goblet of wine. He took a long draw on his pipe and blew out another puff of smoke. He watched as it floated up into the night air and disappeared. His eyes took in the star filled sky above them, he then pulled the pipe from between his teeth and said, "That's one mess of stars up there. I never tire of the view of our universe. Just beautiful!" JC looked across the fire at his friend and smiled. Nick thought to himself that his friend JC seemed unusually down. "JC my friend, I sense some melancholy from you. Would I be wrong in my assumption?" Again JC looked deep into his goblet, his brow furrowed and he let out a long sigh.

  JC looked at his old friend and asked, "How long have we known each other now Nick?" Nick's eyebrows rose, his eyes looked questioningly at JC and wondered where this was leading. He was very forthcoming with his reply and said, "In this the year of our Lord 2011, I'd say approximately 1612 years....give or take a year, but who's counting." JC took a sip of his wine and said, "Well, even though I'm not counting I do have a few years on you." "Yes you do." said Nick, he continued,"You pulling rank on me for something I'm unaware of???" JC replied, "Not at all Nick. I'm happy that you are here with me tonight."

JC turned his head and looked down through the blackness of space, past planets, moons, galaxies, nebula's and a trillion stars to the little blue and white orb suspended in amongst the constellations. Nick watched as it's reflection filled JC's eyes, and tears began to line his lower lids. And like the incoming tides of the oceans his eyes filled with tears giving the orb the appearance of a world under water. "It's my people Nick." he whispered. And like the gates of a dam opening and nothing to hold back the water his tears spilled over his lids and rolled down his cheeks.

"My heart is so full of pain...for them, for the children of God the Father. They know not what they do Nick. I work hard to remain in their hearts. I am still there, and always will be, but I'm buried so deeply under so much of the world that they are forgetting.  Not all have forgotten and it's become a battle of epic proportions for those fighting to hold onto the rest.  It's just...well, it's just that every year it gets worse. Some forbid others to publicly wish me a happy birthday. Most are not allowed to so much as utter Merry Christmas to each other."  His gaze shifted back to Nick who had been sitting quietly, puffing on his pipe, intently watching and listening to JC.

  Nick made no move to speak but continued to slowly send little white puffs of smoke up into the air. JC gazed down into his wine goblet and raised it taking another small sip. Nick quietly watched JC set his wine down and reached down next to the rock he sat on and picked up a birch log and layed it on top of the hot coals of the campfire. Tiny sprays of sparkling orange and white embers shot up, they hissed and crackled breaking the silence of the night.

  Nick shifted his position on his log and gently set his pipe down beside him. He leaned forward and picked up a long branch and thoughtfully poked at the campfire. He stirred up the embers and more flames leapt to life.  The glow from the campfire illuminated the two men, high above the earth, both very deep in thought.

  Nick contemplated JC's concerns. He mulled it over in his mind.  The fire popped and snapped as Nick shifted the log on the embers and sent up small plumes of smoke into the night air.  Nick took in a deep breath and made a smacking sound with his lips while his free hand stroked his long white beard.  His blue eyes looked at JC over the tops of the glasses perched on the end his nose.

  "What you say is true JC. I agree with you that it is indeed a painful thing. This used to be the most joyous time of the year on Earth. It was always something that almost all of humanity shared in. Rejoiced in. Celebrated together.  The whole world came together for that one day..humanity united. Do you remember JC the anticipation, the excitement of the people? How everyone was so happy, how they could barely contain their joy?  All for the love of the birth of the baby Jesus...for the love of you JC."

  "Yes this is all true Nick. But I didn't do it alone. What am I without them? What are they without me?? Remove my loving arms and I can no longer hold them in love...and I can no longer hold myself in love. We need each other.

It was through this love that you were created Nick. You were loved and wanted by me and God the father. You were blessed with an abundance of love for all living things and given the powers of miracles and the powers of healing. You touched the lives of children and sailors. Your greatest gifts were that of joy in the spirit of giving. Anytime you've touched the heart of a child you have instilled deep in them the most important and valuable gift of all and that is the gift of hope.

"You Nick, were the white shadow of my heart. To bring hope and love to everyone you touched. I was the Peace, you of the Earth, together, we were.... Peace on Earth. I have lain upon the face of every newborn babe since time began to give their souls everlasting life. Your spirit was created to renew that love and belief if just for one day of the year to re instill the belief of love and hope.  To celebrate that love and hope!  To cry out a Merry Christmas to one and to all!  To prove to the child that he has just to ask and he will receive!  And even though Nick you no longer walk the earth that the children for the most part are still asking and because you touched their parents as children they are carrying it through and their child receives!  It isn't the skates or sleds they receive but it's the love it took to create that power to fulfill those wishes.  The power of love.  The power of giving. The asking, the giving, the receiving of gifts is in a language that children understand.  They learn by example that to not only receive in love but to give in love as well, they learn that love comes in many forms.

  Nick's stare was intense as he looked at JC and noticed how the light from the campfire had illuminated him in a red-orange glow.  His face was flushed and an inner light seemed to shine from behind his eyes.  Nick watched as JC looked into the fire and took a deep breath and slowly let it out.  The flames of the campfire slowly licked softly upon itself and the silence of the night was broken by the crackle and soft hissing of the fire when Nick spoke.

 "Giving has been my lot in life.  To give in love has been the greatest of blessings bestowed upon me.  It humbles me to think of how rich my spirit is because of these blessings." Nick lay down his stick, sat back, placed both his hands on his knees and turned his head and looked down through the black vastness of space until his eyes locked in on the little blue and white orb.  He stared hard until he felt a deep ache in his heart and his blue eyes brightened with the threat of fresh tears.  Breaking his eyes away he turned his head and looked back at JC.

  " I too hear the cries of those struggling to hold on.  Those that hold tight will never let go JC." he said in a reassuring voice."  For them they will always cry out Merry Christmas!!!  They will always exclaim and celebrate how this is your birthday! As for the others, how can they ever deny Christ in Christmas!!  If they are not celebrating your birth and partaking in celebration then what are they celebrating?? Yes, yes, yes..I know what your thinking...all that pagan stuff. Well how about this...I don't believe in pagans? And while I'm on a roll what about your resurrection and the Easter Bunny?  There doesn't seem to be any problems there...so far, but if I may be frank JC, I honestly don't see what a pink bunny carrying a basket of eggs has anything to do with you coming back from the dead!"

  At that statement JC felt a smile start to spread across his face. He felt a rush of laughter pour over him. He leaned forward and grabbed his stomach and let out a long, loud laugh! Nick watched this with delight and the next thing he knew he had joined in with a loud resounding HO! HO! HO!. He grabbed his big round belly and it shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. All through space, the heavens above and below, their howls of laughter echoed, as far away as Pluto!

  It took several minutes for them both to contain the belly aching laughs.  JC leaned down and picked up the hem of his robe and brought the edge of it to his eyes and dabbed gently at the wetness he found there.  He then dragged it down his cheeks and over his beard and soaked up the tears of joy. Nick sniffled hard, removed his glasses and dragged one of his big white furry sleeves across his eyes. They then both took big deep cleansing breaths, looked at each other and smiled.

  Nick suddenly looked up over JC's head and smiled and nodded to JC to look up.  JC leaned back a bit and looked up and eight miniature angels were hovering over his head.  Their little wings fluttered softly as they smiled down at JC.  JC smiled lovingly up at them.  He then lowered his head and his eyes leveled with Nick's.  He smiled and nodded his head at Nick. Nick smiled knowingly back at JC and nodded his head in return.  Neither spoke.  They knew that it was time.

  The little angles flew over JC's head, lowered themselves before him and hovered, silently waiting.  They watched as he raised his hands to his lips and kissed the inside of each one.  When he opened his hands he layed them flat before the angels and gently blew against his palms sending out streams of colors of gold, white, yellow and green. 

  The angels opened their wings wide to receive the colors as they swirled and danced around them.  The colors stretched, twisted and twirled in the air above and around the angels. They stretched high up in the sky spinning a kaleidoscope of colors. They climbed higher and higher into space and then came to a sudden stop.  All was quiet.  All was still.

  Below, JC, Nick and the eight angels strained their necks and seemed to hold their breath in expectation.  Then silently, with no sound at all, the colors slowly started to shift and took on the shape of luminescent waves.  Ever so slowly the waves moved softly and fluidly against each other then began to blend together, no longer separate but one. They began to roll onto each other, over and over again until there were no individual trails of color, but a huge ball of gold and silver. 

  Then, it began to swell.  Silently it grew and the more it grew the more it glowed in the darkness of space among the twinkling of the stars. Then, like a balloon stretched to it's limit the ball exploded and the colors became beautiful shimmering dust of gold, silver, yellow, white and green.  It slowly floated down sprinkling everything in it's path.

   It came to cover JC, Nick and the eight angels. The angels, as if drunk on pure joy began to laugh and swoop through the air diving to and fro. They shot straight up through space leaving vapor like trails behind them. JC and Nick, their eyes skyward, stood in awe as they watched the angels write Merry Christmas among the stars. The echo of their giggles sounded like the tinkle of tiny little bells.

Then all became quiet.  Like little fireflies with their lamps turned off, one by one they lit up appearing before Nick.  Softly, slowly and silently they flapped their little white wings and with every upswing of their feathers they sent up a cloud of small fine glittering diamonds that left a halo of shimmering light around each angel.

  Nick smiled at the sight before him then bent and picked up his pipe from the log where he'd left it and slid it into a pocket and patted it there for safe keeping. He then straightened his hat. Twisted his belt into place. Dusted himself off and looked very much like a man ready for a mission.

  He looked at the angels and nodded. The angels then lined up before him, two by two behind each other with their backs to Nick. The two front angels both softly shuddered and a beautiful deep red velvet rope grew from their wings and floated back along the outer angels. The end of the rope came to rest in Nick's white gloved hands. Nick held the rope loosely in his hands and straightened himself. With the heel of one boot he nudged the birch log he had been sitting on earlier. Slowly the log began to shift and change. It seemed to be melting and wavering. Then the color changed slowly to a brilliant red trimmed in gold. It stretched long and wide. Nick bent his legs, leaned back and beneath him appeared a beautiful seat lined in white fur. He sat back and rested his feet before him. Beneath him was a sleigh of ruby red and brilliant gold and oh how it sparkled!

  Nick looked so grand in his bright red suit and snowy white beard.  All the while JC had stood and watched the transformation.  He thought to himself how Nick still had it and looked as fresh and as new as his first day on the job.  Nick held the reins in one hand  and with the other he adjusted his hat one last time.  He then smoothed down his beard and tugged up one boot.  Next he sat up straight and tall and picked up the red rope into both hands and held them straight out in front of himself.  Then he paused. 

  He turned his head and his eyes met JC's.  They looked at each other for a moment.  JC broke the spell, "Nick, go with my blessings.  Leave no heart unturned.  Jump start the broken ones.  For the lost ones, appeal to their inner child.  The heart never forgets.  Invade all hearts and leave them the greatest gift of all Nick. Fill their hearts with love, love for every living thing created under God The Father." 

  Nick felt his chest tighten and a lump form in his throat and his eyes burned bright with fresh tears.  A small smile formed on his mouth.  He looked at JC through watery blue eyes and said, "JC, I am your warrior and will fight for you for all eternity.  I will forever pierce the hearts of all with your sword of love."  It is my lot in time to give of this gift for every soul since the beginning of time."  JC smiled back at his old friend, child and brother.  He smiled and said, "My friend, you and I will always stand side by side, back to back, heart to heart and will never give up, not ever.  We will forever be, Brothers In Arms.  Godspeed to you on this nights journey.  Oh, and Nick? Merry Christmas."

Nick smiled at JC.  He then raised the red ropes up high, turned his head, looked at JC and said,"Happy Birthday JC."

JC watched as Nick and the sleigh shot off into space with 8 pinpoints of brilliant white light casting a beacon before them leading the way. JC stood there next to the campfire, a lone figure of a man and watched as Nick flew out of sight. He then turned, looked down through the black velvet of space, down past the planets, the moons, galaxies, nebula's and trillions of stars and constellations, until his eyes locked onto the little blue and white orb. A deep ache spread through his chest. Tears lined his lower lids. The planet reflected in his eyes. And like the incoming tides of the oceans his eyes filled with tears making the orb appear like a world under water.  And like a dam who's gates had been opened and with nothing to hold back the water the tears spilled over and rolled down his cheeks.  And he whispered...."Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night."

The Kitchen Window Journalist

 As I sit and look through the window at our little cove on this Christmas Eve morning, tiny little snowflakes are floating down covering the landscape in a fine white powder. The tide is in and high. The surf is up, making it's presence known with each loud crash against the shoreline. The air today is cold and brisk and sea smoke rises from the bay lending a beautiful, soft, mystical ambiance to the surroundings. It all feels very fitting on this day of December 24th, the eve of Christmas. The decorations are hung and the baking is done and the celebrating can begin.

 At our house celebrating will not be with gift giving but with spending some rare precious time with our family. Time spent together indulging in lots of good food that we wouldn't have at any other time of the year.  We'll be watching Christmas movies and just be content to be in the moment. It will be a time of rest and reflection.

  I will also be reflecting and my thoughts will be drawn to where they always go at this special time. I give up thanks for all that I do have and not what I don't have. I'll deeply wish that for all those who have less at this time that their wants and needs are met and that their cups runneth over with joy and peace. I'll pray for the hungry to be fed and the homeless to be housed and kept warm and safe.

  I'll pray that we will all have the presence of mind to reach out to our fellow man in any way, big or small.  No matter what station you hail from on this planet, rich or poor, we are all equal in the eyes of God. We, every single one of us, need each other. We all need to believe in our own humanity, that we have the capacity to love, to believe, to give and to rejoice in these gifts.

In this cosmic world that we live in even Mother Nature takes care of her own. She'll reach out to the tall majestic pine tree and give it the sun it needs to grow tall and strong. She'll send down soft warm summer rains to quench it's thirst. She'll bring on the winds to bend it to and fro to make it strong against the storms that follow. The tree in turn will house the creatures of the forest, will feed them with her seeds and drop her needles for a bed. She will give us a place of rest, solitude and shelter. This circle of life is no mistake of nature as the laws of the universe dictate balance..and so it is. We are not just a happenstance of the 'perfect storm'. We were meticulously created with a great plan in place. From the smallest grain of sand, to the new born babe, we were brought into being by one thing. Love. The most powerful force in the universe.  

If Christmas means anything to you at all then let it be the one day of the year that you will allow love to take the reigns. For just one day allow yourself to be loved. Allow yourself to show love. Allow yourself to love yourself.  In turn, you will find the true meaning of Christmas. The meaning of life. The meaning of God.

Happy Birthday Jesus. Oh yes...and Merry Christmas Santa.

To all my extended family, relatives and friends. A very Merry Christmas to you all. Every one of you enrich my life in ways you won't ever know. Just know that I am grateful you are in my life and that I hope we will always walk this life together in love. To my readers from around the globe, thank you. We may never meet but I'd like to think that we touch each other in some special way. Thank you for the time you take to stop by.

To all of humanity.....MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Until the next high tide.....
Natalie